With Reid in jail for at least three
months, how is the team going to survive? Wait, they've got a sixth
profiler in the from of Steven, whose only impact so far is that he's
been there for weeks and come up with nothing on Scratch! Hey, why
did the producers think that the team needed an extra member? Unless
they're going somewhere really interesting with him by the end of the
season, this feels like a waste - did they really just bring him in
because, with the Reid storyline happening, the producers worried
that it would seem implausible that the team could solve crimes with
just 5 profilers on a case?
Damn, this show has a bloated cast. Is
being on Criminal Minds the easiest job in television? Even Emily and
Joe only get like 8-10 lines per week, and they're the theoretical
leads!
Okay, on with the episode - Reid is
taken to jail! They do the standard 'intake' scene we've seen a
thousand times. The only interesting part being that one of the
prison guard is played by the baliff from Judging Amy, whose name I
can't remember at the moment! I'll check the opening credits.
Hey, now that Reid in in Jail, will he
get a more sensible haircut? He's looking especially shaggy at the
moment. Even for him.
There's a brief scene about the team
planning how to support Reid in prison, and then it's off to the
briefing room! Two people had acid thrown in their faces last night -
they survived, but ick! And there were two others the week before! I
wonder if it's going to turn into a spree? Oh, and one of the victims
died from inhaling acid fumes. Yikes. I had no idea that could
happen! Also, the killer is short and slight - could it be a woman,
or perhaps a small man?
Emily once again misrepresents how long
it takes to get to the Marine airfield, then mentions again how
worried they all are about Reid! Then it's over to Reid, who's
brought to a big room with twenty bunks and plenty of prisoners! It
turns out the baliff has specifically overridden his assignment to
protective custody, in the hopes that he'll be beaten to death in
prison!
What is this guy's problem? I guess
we'll find out after the opening credits!
On the plane, they discuss the cultures
in which acid-throwing are prevalent, but since all of the victims
here are young urban professionals it doesn't seem like that's going
to be a decent lead. Oh, and the baliff's name is 'Richard T. Jones'.
I probably should have been able to remember that.
Most of the team head to the hospital
to interview the victims! Must be refreshing to go there instead of
the morgue for once, huh? The victims don't have much to offer, other
than that both of them had super-regular schedules, so the killer
absolutely could have predicted where they'd be on that night. Then
again, the guy was meeting a bunch of people at a bar, and the lady
was attending a spin class, so the idea that either of them would be
alone walking out of the targeted locations is a bit of a stretch.
Also, the lady is sure the attacker was
a small man, who yelled in a foreign language - but she can't
identify which one!
The team decides to operate under the
assumption that the killer is targeting specific people. Not because
they have any evidence of that, but because if they assume this is
random, they'll have no leads at all, and no place to start their
investigation.
Meanwhile, in a park, the killer, a
short white guy with glasses, stares intently at a couple making out
on a bench, until they flee because he's too creepy! Is he now going
to stalk them?
In lockup, Reid notices that his
prison-issued clothes and shower slippers have been grabbed by a
goon, so he takes them back! The goon goes to attack him, but Richard
breaks it up! Presumably he wants the beating to happen a little less
publicly.
At police HQ, the team gets a call from
Garcia, who's found a link between the first two victims - they both
went to a singles night at a popular bar! Could the killer be
frequenting that place, looking for potential victims?
Speaking of, the killer splashes acid
in the face of that couple, in the middle of the park, in broad
daylight. Presumably the screams attract enough attention that all of
the witnesses will end up with a better description of him. As for
the screaming, it does sound like gibberish, so maybe a latin motto?
Those are always weird when spoken aloud!
Luckily a witness heard the phrase, and
it turns out it was latin, after all! He said "I will destroy
it", which is apparently a bible quote about God being able to
do whatever he wants to nations and peoples. It's also a quote from
Elliot Roger's manifesto, apparently. This leads to a brief
conversation about Jordan Peterson people, which they call the
'manosphere', which is mostly used to describe the collective web
presence of anti-feminist assholes. Weirdly, they don't point out
that this is more of an incel situation, than a broader Jordan
Peterson issue.
Garcia finds a website where incels
obsess over the photos of pretty people, and the team notices that
all of the victims are suspiciously similar to the pictures on the
website! So similar, in fact, that it seems like the killer would
have way more trouble finding looky-likeys than he apparently is.
The profile is delivered, and it's
predictably useless - notable only for the fact that Emily says that
'this could turn into a spree'. Lady, he's attacked 4 people in less
than 24 hours, including two people in a park in broad daylight. This
is already a spree.
In the clink, one of Reid's fellow
protective custody guys drops by to let him know that he's on
someone's hit list! Not because they found out he was a cop or
anything, just because he wanted his stuff back. Luckily some nazis
show up to offer him protection at a nebulous price! Then Reid finds
out that the man across the yard staring at him is Harold Perrineau,
star of TV's Oz! He must be playing the leader of the local black
gang! Perhaps Reid can get in with him to avoid having to team up
with nazis?
Garcia gets a lead on the killer -
she's got the IDs of everyone who visits the scummy picture blog!
Hopefully not too many of them live in Philly! More importantly, this
week's photos (which are essentially targets) have just gone up!
Emily wants them sent over, in the hopes that they can get one step
ahead of the killer!
How, though? You've got a picture of a
red-haired woman, and a picture of a surfer dude. Those aren't the
actual people he's going to attack, just visual archetypes. Was your
plan to put every red-haired woman between 20-40 under surveillance?
Whatever her plan was, it doesn't
matter, because the killer walks right past a red-headed woman to
splash acid into a dark-haired lady's face! Why would he abandon the
website? Has he found the true target of his rage?
We don't get a chance to find out what
happened to the victim because we're due back in prison with Reid!
It's night time, which means it's time for the nazis to attack Reid
for the crime of not signing up with them. But then Harold Perrineau
arrives, because I guess it's super-easy for like seven people to
just walk around the prison after lights-out? But why did Harold save
him?
In Philadelphia the next day, the team
finds out about the latest victim! Wait, why is it the next day? It
was broad daylight when she was attacked, how is the team just
hearing about it? Shouldn't they have been at the hospital in case
she was able to speak?
It turns out that she was on the way to
meet a guy for a date! Could he be the killer? No, he's a beardo, but
the team still thinks he could be the killer, because they haven't
seen the side of the killer's face the way we have. Their suspected
motive is that the woman rejected him sexually, driving him to
violence - but, and I don't want to be crude here, wouldn't that
happen later in the evening? What kind of date would it have been for
the killer to be rejected sexually before it even started?
It's good that they're suspicious,
though, because the date was a regular poster on the incel website!
Where he's bragged about not being lonely any more! Could the killer
specifically be targeting his girlfriend to get at him? He gives them
a list of people he sent pictures to so that the team can find out!
Reid goes to meet with Harold, who it
turns out used to be an FBI agent! And now he's running a prison
gang! He explains that an informant he was working with found out
information about his undercover people in a drug organization, and
he felt his only option was to kill her before she could get his
agents killed! He says that his people would have been killed
instantly had he arrested her, so he made it look like a hit from
rival crime family to protect their cover!
Wait, how did he get caught, then?
Couldn't he control the investigation? Also, why didn't the FBI cover
for him, the way they do literally all the time, for all of their
agents other than the ones that spy for foreign nations?
Checking into the date's friends, they
discover that only two of the ones who were cruel assholes about him
dating someone live in Philly, and one of them is a chemist! For
Tyrell's chemicals, which is probably a nerdy Blade Runner thing from
the writer or production people.
The killer has a manifesto talking
about a major attack he has planned, so it's up to the team to track
him down! Hey, that major attack probably would have worked if you'd
just not gone around throwing acid in people's faces. Just saying.
Eric and Joe go to check out his
chemistry dungeon, and my first thought is to wonder if it's the same
basement as Kevin from the Office's string dungeon a few years back.
Obviously the killer isn't there, but
his plans for an acid power-sprayer are! Now they just have to figure
out where he's going to use it! Or, if the show was feeling cute,
where he's planning to buy the parts for it. It would be funny if
they caught him three weeks before his planned attack, but this isn't
that kind of show.
Luckily, the manifesto is full of
super-obvious clues, with the guy planning to attack a singles night
at a var next to a hoagy place with an ATM across the street. See
what I mean? Specific! Hilariously, they're only able to decode the
Philly-jargon-filled clues in time because Aisha's college roommate
was from there! Hey, instead of asking the viewers to accept such a
ridiculous coincidence, why not just have a Philly cop in the room to
tell them about it?
Anyhoo, Steven sidles up to the killer
and gradually lets him know that the FBI is on to him. Then he
promises the killer his manifesto will get out if he comes along
quietly, so he does! Why did they bother with this nonsense? He was
just sitting at a bar, with no idea the cops were on to him. Just
grab his arms and drag him out.
THE END
Back to jail! Where Reid finally gets
his private cell because Harold pulled some strings! What does this
guy want from him? For him to confess, apparently? Harold explains
that as long as Reid continues to claim he's innocent, people won't
respect him - if he starts bragging about his crimes, at least
they'll think he's a bad-ass.
Is Harold setting him up to give a fake
confession so that he can cut a deal and testify against Reid? That
would be a twist!
1 - Was profiling in any way helpful in
solving the crime?
Dear lord, no. They faffed about with
profiling for a while, then the killer attacked someone he knew and
he was identified literally five minutes later.
2 - Could the crime have been solved
just as easily using conventional police methods given the known
facts of the case?
Totally conventional this week.
Although local Philly cops probably would have gotten to the place
faster, since they'd already know about all of the Philly slang off
the tops of their heads.
So, on a scale of 1 (Dirty Harry) to 10
(Tony Hill), How Useful Was Profiling in Solving the Crime?
1/10 - A poor showing for profiling,
but I'm interested to see where the Reid story goes!
No comments:
Post a Comment