16.1.12

Kick Ass 2 continues to worsen.


In issue 5 of Kick-Ass, three things happen. Just three things. Each one of these three things is stupider than the last. Somehow they requires twenty-some pages and costs three dollars.

Thing 1: The villain is told by his relatives on the police force that he can't expect any protection now that he's a mass-murderer.

Why is this thing stupid? The scene doesn't reflect the reality that by now everyone on earth would know the villain's identity, and every law enforcement agency in North America would be all over him. Everyone who'd ever met the villain or his father would be under total surveillance, or even held as material witnesses until they provided information leading to his capture.

Thing 2: Kick-Ass' father is murdered in prison.

All kinds of stupid here. The man is in prison because he confessed to being a superhero in order to protect his child. The police believe that he is Kick-Ass, despite the fact that there is copious amounts of video footage of the superhero in action, and he's clearly a foot and a half shorter than Kick-Ass' father. He's then killed in prison because even though protective custody exists, and is generally used for jailed police officers or child molesters, the prisoner who literally every criminal in New York wants to kill is somehow not in it.

Thing 3: Villains attack Kick-Ass' father's funeral.

Nothing about this sequence makes sense. A terrorist organization, after brutally murdering dozens of people, announces its desire to murder Kick-Ass. Why would he then hold a public funeral for his father, assuring that both he and all of his fellow superheros would be in one public place at a predictable time? The only situation in which I could imagine this happening is if the police/FBI/HomeSec/ATF/Interpol were using the funeral as a trap for the villains - kind of coldhearted, but plausible. That isn't the case. Why does it go forward? Because the villains announced that they wouldn't attack the funeral.

And then every law enforcement agency in the world took the word of a pack of wolves that they wouldn't attack a sheep convention, so they left it essentially unguarded, considering the resources at their disposal.

Bonus Thing: The villains are somehow drawing new recruits.

At the end of the comic Kick-Ass is abducted from the funeral by the four new henchmen that attack it. That's right - there are four new henchmen. Not the guys who dress up in costumes, just gunmen for hire. Which brings me to the stupid part - who on Earth would sign on with the most wanted man in America? The villain has no ideology, and there's no possible series of events in which this doesn't end badly for him, so why would anyone volunteer to sign up for a suicide run?

Sure, he can pay them money - but his finances are limited, and these men are being asked to shoot up a funeral containing dozens of armed NYPD officers. Even if bad writing allowed them to get away without being shot to death, how long before they were identified and went away forever after being charged with domestic terrorism? Is there an amount of money on Earth worth that risk?

Kick Ass - Buy three instances of your intelligence being insulted for one dollar each, and the fourth is on the house!

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