Porn Shoot Massacre Is As Badly-Written As You'd Think

I think I'm going to call the phenomenon 'Frightmare Syndrome'. It's when people making an ultra low-budget movie decide that a certain scene or sequence of events needs to be especially gripping or well-written, and they attempt to punch far above their weight class. Normally when penning scripts for these sorts of movies (if they indeed have scripts, rather than just sketchy outlines), the filmmakers tend to stick to simple, declarative sentences - either ignorant of what makes dialogue well-written, or just uninterested in putting in the effort, most scenes tend to have an ad-libbed feel to them.

Whether this is because the actors can't remember their lines, or because they weren't given any, and instead of 'acting' they're basically just saying what they would in those situations is up for interpretation - either way, while these heavily improvised scenes are never particularly good, they at least have a degree of consistency. While there's plenty of fumbling and late cues, it kind of all blends together, because everyone's doing it-

Isn't it nice when they leave in the moment before 'action' was called?

It's only later in the movie, when the filmmakers decide to pretend that there's actually a plot, that things get really bad. Groaningly bad attempts at clever action lines, characters spouting long strings of exposition - a plot to continues to make no sense of any kind... and my favorite, an exchange that proves the writer didn't even understand the concept of a double negative.

The crazy part is that this film wasn't made by a writer/director. Which means a second person had to take a look at this script and say 'yes - absolutely - let's make this!' I'm uncomfortable with the idea that there's one person in the world who thought that making Porn Shoot Massacre as 'written' was a good idea. The idea that there were at least two makes me worry for the future of humanity.